Posted byByJune 28, 2021
My marriage is only five years old and I don’t know where we are heading. Could this be the end or is there hope for us to make it? My name is Osas (not real name). I am a civil engineer and project manager. I got married to my wife as a v!rg!n and our love was so sweet back then.After our second child came, it became tough to manage the home, work and kids, so we decided my wife would become a stay at home wife to look after the children. I am never one for house helps or nanny.As a stay at home wife/mother, I give my wife monthly allowance as her last monthly salary from her last job.
I didn’t want her to feel like she sacrificed her ability to earn a living. And God has been blessing me to be able to provide for her and the children so far.However, after the second child, I started observing that my wife no longer care for herself, her looks. She started growing fat, she will not do her hair for months and when I return from work, sometimes she has not had her bath for the whole day.My wife gave excuse of too much work on her hands and so even though I kept talking to her to look good, she didn’t bother. And I actually did not want to sound like I am disturbing her so I left her.The issue is that the more my wife became unattractive to me, the more attention I received from women outside.
I would try to buy nice wigs, clothes that I see these attractive women outside wearing but my wife will not wear, she will say it’s for wayward women.So, I stopped bothering her. S&c with her became unattractive too. Even when she tries to make advances, I just withdraw cos I am not finding her attractive. I also avoided gisting with her like we used to do. Cos, all I see is a woman who does not care about how her husband wants her to look like.Sometimes, she accused me of neglect or cheating on her cos of our lack of intimacy. I just ignored her. After work, I just go straight to bed, If she touches me, my thing cannot rise and stay more than a few minutes.
Then, instead 0f her to change, she will start crying and accusing me of not being in love with her anymore.Four months ago,I came back home and discovered my wife has moved out of our home. I called and called her no but it was switched off. I called all our friends, no one had seen her. I had to call my family who now told me to call my wife’s family before making a police report.I called my wife’s elder brother and he told me my wife is with their mother. I was shocked and asked why,he said my wife said she is no longer interested in the marriage. I asked what did I do…and he said…she is depressed and suffering from neglect from me.That weekend, I travelled to my wife’s town and the mother greeted me warmly.
My children on seeing me,ran to me. I broke down and started to beg my mother in law cos my wife refused to come out to see me. I pleaded and pleaded. Until my mother in-law allowed me to go inside and see my wife.I talked and talked and begged and begged with all the saliva in my mouth. I explained to her that her lack of care for her looks drove me away and My wife said she cannot continue in the marriage anymore. That since she cannot do anything about her looks …that means…I will no longer want her or desire her.
