I am deeply ashamed to write to bring my marital issue to you because I am a preacher but right now, I may not have any other choice than to ask for advice and help anonymously before I loose the most important person in my life: my wife. Things have gone so bad that she has moved out of my house and I have been begging her to return but she says she will not.
The shame that I after counselling other marriages will have a broken marriage is too much for me to bear. I need your help. I could have gone to my spiritual leaders but I am too ashamed to tell them what happened. So, this is me, asking for your help and prayers.
I have been married for 9 years now. God blessed me with a good woman that has supported me and my vision for years. We have four children and I am a blessed man for sure. The issue started when after our third child, I told my wife that we have to stop having children cos we have to manage to care for the ones God has given us.
My wife said she wants 2 boys and 2 girls. We had 2 boys and 1 girl. I told her no. But this this woman agreed and later, got pregnant with the fourth child which turned out to be a boy . I was so angry cos we agreed. She lied to me that she was on contraceptive. I wont lie, we are not poor but having 3 children was not easy. And now, with 4th…things became very tough.
To make things worse, I started to have challenges at work and lost my job. I tried to find another job but eventually took a job with lower pay than the former. And this job was taking all my time cos its a one man business kind of job. So, my home and ministry suffered because I was always at work even on weekends.
My wife felt neglected and tried to talk to me about it but I told her, it was her fault for having plenty children and now, I cannot be there to support as I should. We quarreled alot. I didn’t like that but to avoid the quarrels, I stayed away from home more and more. My wife complained of me neglecting her sxvual needs but for some reason, I just lost interest in sx. Maybe I was tired of having babies and responsibilities ,so I blanked away from the idea of sx.
My wife became hysterical, saying I was cheating on her. That if I am not sleeping with her, then I was sleeping with someone else. To be frank, I actually made a mistake once but I did not sleep with the person. In my spending more time at work, I almost slept with a colleague but God gave me strength to stop before we went too far. But that was not the reason I did not want to sleep with my wife.
