Manipulation and influence, two sides of the same coin but vastly different in their intention. The former hides behind a veil of deceit, while the latter is transparent and respectful.
We all know a master manipulator when we encounter one. They’re sharp, cunning, and incredibly convincing. But how do they get so good at this dark art? Well, it’s all in the words they use
In the realm of emotional manipulation, certain phrases act as tools for control. If a woman regularly drops these 10 phrases into conversation, she’s a pro. Don’t be fooled; these words aren’t just casual chit-chat.
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Stay with me as we dive into this murky world and learn to spot the signs of a master manipulator.
1) “You always…”
Master manipulators have a knack for playing with words, twisting them around to serve their purpose. One phrase that often slips off their tongues is “You always…”.
This phrase is a classic in the emotional manipulation playbook. It’s a sweeping generalization that paints the other person in a negative light, regardless of the reality of their actions.
Consider this – it’s unlikely that someone ‘always’ does anything. People are complex and their behaviors vary. But by saying ‘you always’, the manipulator creates a narrative of constant failure or negativity around the other person.
This way, they’re able to exert control, make the other person question their actions, and feel indebted or guilty. It’s an underhanded technique that’s as effective as it is harmful.
Remember, true communication is about understanding and empathy, not about generalizations and guilt-tripping. So if you hear this phrase often, take note – you might be dealing with an emotional manipulator.
2) “Don’t you trust me?”
Another phrase that I’ve noticed manipulators frequently use is “Don’t you trust me?”.
Here’s a personal experience. I was once in a relationship where my partner would often take decisions without consulting me. When I expressed my discomfort, she would respond with, “Don’t you trust me?”
This phrase was used as a deflection method to avoid addressing my concerns and instead put me on the defensive. It was an attempt to make me feel guilty for questioning her actions and doubting her judgment, even though these decisions affected us both.
By using this phrase, she was able to sidestep any discussion about the decision itself and instead shift the focus onto my ‘lack of trust’. This is a classic emotional manipulation technique, as it undermines your feelings and concerns, while simultaneously making you feel guilty for having them.
So, if you’re hearing “Don’t you trust me?” too often, it might be a red flag that you’re dealing with an emotional manipulator.
3) “I’m fine.”
“I’m fine.” – a phrase we’ve all heard and probably used ourselves. But did you know that it can be a powerful tool in the hands of a master manipulator?
Emotional manipulators often use this phrase to create a sense of mystery or unease. When a person says they’re ‘fine’ in a tone that suggests otherwise, it prompts concern and curiosity from the listener. The manipulator uses this to gain control of the situation, keeping the other person on their toes, guessing, and trying to decipher what’s really going on.
Moreover, it puts the listener in a position where they feel obliged to keep checking on the manipulator, giving them the attention they seek. It’s a subtle game of emotional chess that can be very draining for the person on the receiving end.
So, if “I’m fine” seems to be a recurring theme despite clear indications otherwise, it might be time to reassess the dynamics of your relationship.
4) “I hate drama.”
Contrary to what one might think, individuals who frequently proclaim their dislike for drama are often those who create it the most.
Emotional manipulators use this phrase as a smokescreen, to divert attention from their own role in stirring up conflict. By declaring their aversion to drama, they position themselves as innocent bystanders or even victims in any given situation.
This is a clever technique used to keep others off balance. If you’re always perceiving them as the ‘victim’, you’re less likely to see them as the instigator.
In addition, by stating their hate for drama, they subtly hint that any confrontation or disagreement could be seen as ‘creating drama’. This can discourage open conversation and create a sense of walking on eggshells.
So, if a woman frequently declares “I hate drama”, but seems to always be in the thick of it – beware. You might be dealing with a master manipulator.
5) “If you really loved me…”
This phrase, “If you really loved me…”, is one of the most potent tools in a manipulator’s arsenal.
It’s a manipulation tactic designed to question your devotion and commitment. The underlying message is that if you cared enough, you’d comply with what they want, regardless of your personal feelings or boundaries.
By using this phrase, the manipulator preys on your emotions and attempts to guilt-trip you into meeting their demands. It’s a powerful tool because it tugs at your heartstrings and makes you question your actions and feelings.
The truth is that love isn’t about blind compliance or sacrifice. It’s about mutual respect and understanding. If someone frequently uses this phrase to get their way, it’s likely they’re manipulating your emotions for their benefit.
6) “No one understands me like you do.”
Hearing “No one understands me like you do” from someone you deeply care about can be incredibly touching. It creates a bond, a private world that only you two share.
But in the hands of an emotional manipulator, this phrase is used to create an unhealthy dependency. It anchors their emotional well-being onto you, placing an immense burden on your shoulders.
The manipulator uses this phrase to make you feel special and needed, but it’s often a ploy to keep you close and under their control. It can also isolate you from others by making you feel like you’re the only one who can help or understand them.
Remember, it’s important to support those we love, but it’s equally crucial to maintain healthy boundaries and not let anyone monopolize your time, energy or emotional resources. If this phrase comes up frequently and it’s making you feel overwhelmed, it might be time for a heart-to-heart conversation about balance and boundaries.
7) “You’re too sensitive.”
When I was younger, I often heard this phrase from a close friend – “You’re too sensitive.” Every time I expressed hurt or disappointment, it was met with this dismissive statement.
This phrase is a classic tactic used by emotional manipulators to invalidate your feelings and belittle your reactions. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they shift the blame onto you for reacting ‘too intensely’ or ‘overthinking’.
This can make you question your own emotional responses and create self-doubt. It’s a way for the manipulator to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and instead put the focus on your ‘overreaction’.
If this phrase is a staple in your conversations with someone, it might be a sign that they’re using manipulation tactics. Always remember, your feelings are valid and you have every right to express them.
8) “I’m just being honest.”
While honesty is usually a virtue, when paired with the phrase “I’m just being honest”, it can sometimes take on a darker role.
Emotional manipulators often use this phrase as a cover for hurtful, unnecessary or inappropriate comments. By prefacing or following up harsh words with claims of ‘just being honest’, they attempt to dodge any backlash or responsibility for their remarks.
The intention here is to make you accept their criticisms without question, under the guise of honesty. However, there’s a fine line between constructive criticism and destructive comments disguised as ‘truth’.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of too many ‘honest’ remarks that leave you feeling belittled or upset, it may be a sign of emotional manipulation at play. Truth should enlighten, not burden.
9) “I didn’t mean it that way.”
Misunderstandings happen, but when “I didn’t mean it that way” becomes a frequent refrain, it might be more than just poor communication.
Emotional manipulators use this phrase as a get-out-of-jail-free card. They say something hurtful or inappropriate, and when called out, they retreat behind this phrase, implying that you are the one misunderstanding or overreacting.
It’s a way of deflecting blame and responsibility for their words or actions. Instead of apologizing and addressing the issue, they make it about your interpretation of what happened.
If this phrase is a regular occurrence in your interactions with someone, it could be a red flag that you’re dealing with a master at emotional manipulation. It’s crucial to trust your feelings and perceptions.
10) “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
The phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way” is a masterstroke in the manipulator’s game. It might sound like an apology, but it’s far from it.
An apology acknowledges wrongdoing and expresses regret for one’s actions. However, this phrase sidesteps any responsibility. Instead of apologizing for their actions, the manipulator apologizes for your reaction to their actions.
It’s an insidious way of invalidating your feelings while appearing to empathize with you. This phrase is a sign that the person isn’t genuinely sorry, but is merely expressing regret that you’re upset.
So, if an apology feels hollow and focuses more on your response rather than their behavior, take note. It’s a classic sign of emotional manipulation and should be addressed.
