Ireti Kingibe on Natasha Akpoti

Senator Ireti Kingibe today defended herself on charges that she kept quiet on Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan’s travails in the Senate. In summary, she implied that Natasha was throwing tantrums over mere seating arrangements that everyone experiences from time to time. She did mention during the interview that Natasha once told her that Akpabio invited her over to a hotel. Incredibly, she asserted that both had “a personal relationship” before she got to the Senate. She distanced herself from that controversy to focus on how her colleauge was crying over a mere seat reallocation. Instead, she focused on her anger that Natasha was bringing the Senate and its women representatives to public ridicule. It was an incredible performance.

Every woman of power and influence must recognize that their power and influence can be used to uplift or to oppress. The real test of leadership is not in how well one maintains their authority but in how they use it to create a more just and equitable society. If Ireti Kingibe is interested in the fight against gender harassment, she must stand together with Natasha Akpoti and the other two women in the Senate. And she must do this not just when it is convenient but especially when it is difficult. She didn’t have to charge forward on national television to not only put Natasha Akpoti in her place but also reinforce the narrative of the Senate President and his aide that her morals are suspect. She could have stayed out of the fight, given her dishonest testimony that she was not aware of Natasha’s sexual harassment claims.

The feedback from Ireti Kingibe and Natasha Akpoti’s claims, made hours earlier, left me cold. I found myself involuntarily shouting at the woman on the television screen. But she has made it clear that this was not about mere seating arrangements! The comment by Ireti Kingibe on her colleague, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, made me sad. It is a sad reminder of how women in authority can undermine the fight against male harassment of their gender.

I have five daughters. Because of them, I took the trouble to read all I could on women struggles against gender harassment. It made me wiser. Whenever I was in a position to do so, qualified women reached positions that traditionally and unthinkingly went to men. I was also in politics where the battle for gender equality is worse in that male-dominated space. For these reasons, I was pissed off listening to the comments by Ireti Kingibe. I thought she could have done better, given her background, influence, and power.

Champions of gender harrassment

There are only four women in the 109-member Senate, including Ireti and Natasha, the two most visible. Of the two most visible, and based on her background, Ireti Kingibe has more influence and authority. However, Natasha Akpoti has more media visibility. Why do I consider Ireti Kingibe as the more powerful and influential? She is from the West, married to a powerbroker from the North, and elevated by Obidients loyal to a Southeasterner. That spells soft power, the kind that Natasha would never have. Ireti has demonstrated this power in a public confrontation with the same Senate President. Ironically, it was Natasha, in feat of female solidarity, that sprang up to help her motion sail through. She also saved Ireti from an obvious masculine disrespect.

Gender harassment is real in Nigeria. Is it unfair to expect women of influence like Ireti Kingibe to be natural champions of this battle? When such women choose to downplay or dismiss instances of gender-based discrimination, they weaken the progress being made to abolish it. Kingibe charging forward to grant an Arise TV interview that diminishes her colleague is a prime example of this phenomenon. Apart from blatantly questioning her morals, it was tragic watching Ireti Kingibe deploying every authority to deal with Natasha Akpoti. She pulled the age rank (I’m old enough to be her mother). Her Senate ranking was called in (I was in the Senate six months before she arrived). She also reminded us that she is Chair of the Senate Committee on Women Affairs. Finally, she claimed that she was speaking for the other two women senators. She invoked all of this authority to dismiss Natasha’s truth, without evidence. It was obvious that her goal was to invalidate Natasha’s legitimate grievances.

Authority in gender battles

Women in positions of power and influence are expected to be allies in the fight for gender equality. Four women in authoritative spaces such as the Senate is proof that the battle for representation is bearing fruit. However, these women failing to acknowledge discrimination or participating in belittling it contribute to the very oppression they fight against. Ireti Kingibe is dishonest on her characterization of the concerns of Natasha Akpoti as an emotional outburts. It is obvious to the discerning public that Natasha’s public frustration was not just about seating arrangements in the Senate. It is about alleged continuous pattern of gender-based undermining she is facing in Chief Godswill Akpabio’s Senate. Did Ireti somehow forget that the Senate President issued a public apology to Natasha for a previous sexist comment? Didn’t this suggest to her that there is an existing gender bias in the Senate? Was she not once a victim of a condescending treatment from the Senate President? Did she not read gender disrespect in that incident? Must she, a 70-year old woman, experience sexual discrimination from a randy colleague in order to believe Natasha’s claim? Why not allow the court to determine what is true or not?

When women in power use their influence to silence other women, they reinforce the narrative that sexism is trivial. They also perpetuate the sad impression that women who speak up about it are being overly sensitive. Nigeria as a patriarchal society serially marginalizes women’s voices. Ireti’s dismissal of her colleague’s concerns does more harm than if the same words had come from a man. They reinforce the impression that concerns of women in power are personal rather than systemic. Such impressions make it easier for male-dominated institutions to continue their discriminatory practices against women without scrutiny.

The danger of gaslighting

What Senator Kingibe did today is nothing short of gaslighting, a common tactic used to silence marginalized voices. In the context of gender harassment, gaslighting often appears in the form that Ireti canvased on TV. Some of them include: “Natasha is overreacting,” “her situation is not that serious,” and “she’s just being emotional.” Ireti’s presentation is particularly damaging. It perpetuated the stereotype that women are overly emotional and incapable of handling leadership positions. If Natasha is not strong on her resolve, Ireti’s TV testimony will make her begin to doubt her reality. She will be left wondering whether her concerns are not exaggerated or irrational.

A friend of mine stated flatly that Senator Ireti Kingibe’s dismissal of Natasha Akpoti is a product of envy. In his view, Natasha visibility may be upstaging her and threatening her leadership of the women of the Senate. I thought this was far-fetched but he brought up points to buttress his argument. By implying that Natasha’s reaction is a tantrum, Ireti positioned herself as the rational, composed figure while reducing Natasha to a childlike persona. Her rhetoric also serves the interests of the Senate leadership by keeping the women divided. With Ireti as leader, they can no longer collectively challenge systemic discrimination that they know exists in the Senate.

“If she wanted the situation to blow over quickly, she should have distanced herself by keeping quiet.

“What she did is reflective of a larger problem where women who successfully navigate male-dominated spaces adopt the same oppressive behaviors as their male counterparts, perhaps to prove that they belong.”

Moving forward

The Ireti Kingibe position on Natasha Akpoti shows that gender harassment is not only a battle against men. It is also a battle against internalized patriarchal attitudes that some women in power exhibit. Dismissing Natasha’s concerns as mere tantrums plays into the harmful stereotype that women’s grievances are emotional rather than valid. They also weaken the gender fight, creating divisions that make it harder to achieve true equality.

Every woman of influence must recognize that their power can be used to uplift or to oppress. The real test of leadership is not in how well one maintains their authority in a given space. It is also about how they use it to create a more just and equitable society. Ireti Kingibe should stand solidly behind Natasha Akpoti and the other women in the Senate. She must do this not just when it is convenient but especially when it is difficult. Consequently, she didn’t have to charge forward on national television to put Natasha Akpoti down. It is horrible that she went further to reinforce, without evidence, the drivel from the office of the Senate President to the effect that Natasha is an airhead. And it is dishonest of Ireti to claim that she was not aware of Natasha’s sexual harassment claims. Those claims are now public knowledge, Senator. The media widely publicized the same claims in a statement on oath deposited at an Abuja High Court. Ireti’s denial only succeeded in telling the world that she has decided that she and Natasha Akpoti are now frenemies.