We all act a bit immature from time to time – even if we don’t want to admit it.
We act out when we’re angry, sulk when we’re upset, or snap at people when we’re overcome by a wave of frustration.
The main difference between people who are emotionally immature and those who occasionally make a mistake lies in the frequency.
A blunder here and there is to be expected. A theme of emotional immaturity that runs through one’s behavior overall, though…
That’s a different story.
Without further ado, here are the 7 signs of emotional immaturity in a woman, according to psychology.
1) She lets her emotions get the better of her
The key to emotional maturity is self-regulation.
And what does that mean, I hear you ask?
It means you’re not going to scream your head off when you get stuck in traffic. It means you won’t shout hurtful words at your partner when you’re upset during an argument. It means you’re able to stay in control of your emotions, not the other way around.
Emotional self-regulation is one of the five elements that make up emotional intelligence (EQ). The higher your EQ, the more emotionally mature you are, which is why the ability to self-regulate is incredibly important.
Therefore, a woman who says words she later regrets, flips out every time she feels slighted or hurt, and gives in to the hurricane of feelings inside her is likely to be quite emotionally immature.
2) She struggles to have productive disagreements
Disagreements aren’t always a bad thing. In fact, there are many cases when conflict strengthens our relationships with others and allows us to get to know one another on a deeper level.
Not only that but psychotherapist Moshe Ratson MBA, MFT also says that:
“When conflicts are managed constructively, it can help build trust in relationships. Respectfully, directly, and openly discussing opposing perspectives and resolving conflicts collaboratively can create a sense of unity, shared purpose, and mutual respect within the relationship.”
Unfortunately, emotional immaturity and conflict don’t go well together. A woman with low EQ may find it difficult to take accountability for her actions, see the issue in question from the other person’s point of view, and admit a mistake.
As a result, she might try her best to flip the narrative in her favor, project her faults onto someone else, leave the situation, or use her last resort: silent treatment.
A three-hour pouting session has never helped anyone, though. In fact, it is often considered to be a manipulation technique because it puts the other person in a position of confusion, stress, and the inability to reach a resolution.
Conflicts can be amazing, but only when they’re handled in a mature and productive manner.
3) She finds it hard to communicate her needs
One of the reasons immature women run into major issues during arguments is that their communication game needs a bit of work.
When they get upset about something, they don’t say it straight away. Instead, they let the other person cook in the stew of confusion, waiting to see whether they can figure it out for themselves.
When they want reassurance or a bit more attention, they find it extremely difficult to ask for it outright, and so they communicate in subtle hints that lead nowhere.
Emotional maturity is built upon a foundation of honesty, authenticity, and assertiveness. When you need or want something, it’s important that you know how to ask for it in a way that doesn’t come across as passive-aggressive or confusing.
Professor of Communication, Dawn O. Braithwaite PhD, recommends that we:
- Increase our awareness of our needs and desires
- Invite and show other people how to communicate with us in ways that matter to us (for example, you can have a discussion about your love languages)
- Accept that both our and other people’s needs for communication may change over time
4) She always wants to have her way
“Making compromises strengthens an intimate relationship when both partners take a turn and have each other’s best interests in mind,” says psychotherapist Amy Lewis Bear MS, LPC.
She stresses that there is a difference between making a healthy compromise and betraying our own needs and sense of self. After all, there is such a thing as too much compromise – it’s usually what we refer to when we talk of making excessive sacrifices.
The opposite end of the spectrum, however, can be just as disruptive to a healthy long-term connection.
When you’re completely unable to make any compromises whatsoever, you’re making it incredibly difficult for others to get along with you.
Moreover, you may come across as selfish, rigid, and unempathetic because you refuse to take other people’s points of view and experiences into consideration when making decisions.
Healthy human communication is based on openness, a sense of understanding, and the ability to come to some sort of resolution that benefits all parties.
If a woman always wants to have her way, though…
It’s yet another sign she’s emotionally immature.
5) She refuses to adapt to new circumstances and plans
Some time ago, I went out to eat with an old friend. It was Monday, so we didn’t book a table because we didn’t expect the restaurant to be full.
Once we got there, though, we found out that there was some sports match going on in our city and that all places were absolutely packed.
The moment we realized it would take us some time and effort to find another restaurant while we wandered in the rain, my friend’s mood drastically dropped.
It was almost as if the air itself grew colder. She withdrew into herself, her lips pressed in a tight line, and no matter how much I tried to cheer her up, she’d just grumble and complain, saying she absolutely despised it when plans changed.
We couldn’t get a meal at the restaurant she wanted, and so she felt the need to ruin the whole evening instead of adapting to a new plan. After that, our friendship slowly fizzled out.
Flexibility is a crucial component of emotional maturity.
Why?
Because the only constant in life you can rely on is that things will always inevitably change.
Uncertainty is part of who we are, and if you can’t make your peace with that, you’re going to make everything so much more difficult both for yourself and your close ones.
6) She avoids taking responsibility for herself
Another trait emotionally immature women share is a fear of responsibility.
Whatever happens, they always try to carry as little responsibility as possible – let others take care of everything while they continue to enjoy a carefree life in their comfort bubble.
The issue with this kind of mindset is that no matter how many amazing people you surround yourself with, you can simply never know how long these relationships will last.
And once they do shatter – for example, once you break up with your partner or have a huge argument with your parents – you’re left to your own devices.
If you don’t have the necessary skills to be self-sufficient and look after yourself, your life is going to be much harder once you’re forced into a position of independence.
7) She doesn’t work on her weaknesses and unresolved issues
Finally, one of the biggest signs of emotional immaturity in a woman isn’t that she has certain issues – it’s that she refuses to work on them.
She may carry some pain with her due to her past experiences, she might easily leash out due to poor emotional self-regulation, or she may cling on too tight in her romantic relationship – whatever it is, she continues to repeat the same patterns instead of making an active effort to better herself.
And while it is absolutely possible to increase one’s emotional intelligence and slowly transform into a more emotionally mature person, it does take courage and effort.
