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Politeness isn’t just about good manners; it’s often a reflection of character and can reveal a lot about a person’s inner strengths.

The simple act of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can be a powerful tool in influencing personal and professional relationships.

Unbeknownst to some, this seemingly small act can reveal seven quiet strengths rooted in psychology. As someone who always says “please” and “thank you”, I’ve come to realize the impact these words have.

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Let’s delve into what these phrases say about us and the hidden strengths they reveal.

1) A reflection of empathy

The simple words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often signify more than just good manners. According to psychological studies, they can be indicative of a person’s empathetic nature.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a key strength in any interpersonal relationship. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and shows that we value their feelings and perspectives.

When a person consistently says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, it highlights their awareness of the other person’s efforts or feelings. It’s a verbal acknowledgement that they appreciate what the other person has done or is doing for them – which is essentially empathy in action.

This habitual politeness can therefore be seen as a quiet strength, demonstrating an individual’s capacity for empathy. And as we know, empathy is a highly valued trait in every aspect of life – from personal relationships to professional ones.

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So the next time someone says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’, consider it as more than just good manners – it may be a sign of their empathetic nature.

2) Habits of gratitude

I’ve always been someone who makes it a point to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Over time, I’ve come to realize that these aren’t just words; they’re a reflection of gratitude.

Gratitude, according to psychologists, is more than just an emotion. It’s a habitual focus on the positive aspects of life. Consistently expressing gratitude can actually change our brain’s neural pathways, leading to increased positivity and happiness.

Every time I say ‘thank you,’ it’s not just about acknowledging the act that someone has done for me, but also about appreciating them. It serves as a reminder to myself and others of the good in our lives.

For instance, when I thank my barista for my morning coffee, it’s not just about the act of handing over the coffee. It’s appreciating their prompt service, their cheerful greeting, and the care they took in preparing my drink. It’s a small moment of recognizing positivity and goodness in my everyday life.

In this way, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ isn’t just about politeness—it’s a quiet strength that encourages a habit of gratitude, fostering positivity in myself and those around me.

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3) Encourages reciprocity

The act of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often elicits a response in kind. This is known as the principle of reciprocity. Psychologist Robert Cialdini, author of the book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” identified reciprocity as one of the six principles of influence.

When we express gratitude or request something politely, it often triggers a psychological response in the other person to respond in a similar manner. This can help to create more positive interactions and establish stronger relationships.

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Furthermore, research shows that expressing gratitude can even motivate others to assist us further. A study published in Emotion found that when gratitude was expressed, individuals were more likely to assist the grateful person again in the future.

So, consistently saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ not only reflects our own strengths, it can also encourage those same strengths in others around us.

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4) Fosters respect

‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are more than just courteous phrases. They are a clear demonstration of respect for others.

Saying ‘please’ when requesting something shows that we value the other person’s time and efforts. It implies that we understand they are not obligated to help us, and we appreciate them for choosing to do so.

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On the other hand, saying ‘thank you’ acknowledges their effort and shows them their work is valued and appreciated. This can significantly boost morale and promote a positive environment.

In essence, these phrases are a non-confrontational way of expressing respect for others. And as we all know, respect is a vital component in maintaining healthy relationships, whether personal or professional.

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So, the habitual use of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can be considered a quiet strength that fosters mutual respect.

5) Promotes patience

I remember a time when I was in a rush, juggling multiple tasks and feeling overwhelmed. In the midst of this, I had to ask a colleague for a favor. Despite my stress, I made sure to say ‘please’ and waited patiently for their response.

This small action gave me a moment to pause and breathe. I realized that saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often requires us to slow down and be patient. It encourages us to take a step back from our fast-paced routine, creating space for calmness and patience.

In today’s fast-paced world, patience can feel like a scarce commodity. But by consistently using these polite phrases, we can cultivate this quiet strength, not only in our interactions with others but also within ourselves. It’s a gentle reminder that it’s okay to slow down and wait for things to unfold at their own pace.

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6) Enhances communication

Saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can significantly enhance our communication skills. These phrases add a layer of clarity and understanding to our interactions.

When we say ‘please’, we clearly express our needs or wants. It’s an effective way to request without being demanding or creating discomfort.

Similarly, when we say ‘thank you’, we’re communicating our appreciation. It leaves no room for doubt that we value the other person’s efforts.

Effective communication is a key strength in any context – be it in personal relationships, professional settings, or even casual interactions. And the consistent use of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ contributes to this strength, enhancing our ability to communicate with clarity and empathy.

7) Builds character

Above all, consistently saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ builds character. These phrases reflect a person who is respectful, kind, patient, and appreciative – traits that are widely recognized as indicators of strong character.

Character is not something that can be developed overnight. It is the sum of our habitual actions and attitudes. And these two seemingly simple phrases, when used regularly, contribute significantly to the development of a positive character.

So, while saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ may seem like a small act, it can have a profound impact on who we are as individuals. It’s an easy and effective way to build and demonstrate our character, making it perhaps the most important strength of all.

Final thoughts: The power in politeness

Sometimes, it’s the simplest actions that hold the most profound impacts. The act of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ might seem trivial to some, but as we’ve seen, it’s far from insignificant.

These phrases are not just markers of good manners. They’re reflections of character, indicative of empathy, gratitude, patience, respect, and effective communication. All these traits are powerful strengths that can significantly enhance our relationships and interactions.

While it’s easy to overlook the importance of these small courtesies in our fast-paced world, their consistent use can forge a positive character and foster stronger connections with those around us.

So the next time you say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’, remember: it’s not just about manners. It’s about showcasing your quiet strengths and building a character that reflects empathy, respect, and positivity.

And that is a strength worth cultivating.

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