When Expectations from Children Are Not Met: How Parents Can Respond with Love, Calm, and Wisdom, By Sileola Akinbowale, PhD

Welcome to this week’s edition of Parental Guidance

Every parent dreams big for their children: top grades, strong morals, dream careers. Born from love & sacrifice. 

But in today’s world—insecurity, economic chaos, social media pressure, mental health struggles—kids aren’t turning out “perfect.” Disappointment hits hard. 

The REAL danger? Your reaction. It can build them up… or shatter their confidence forever.

Vital Truths to Accept:
• Children are INDIVIDUALS, not your clones. Unique strengths, struggles, timing.
• The world changed—what worked 30 years ago? Not anymore.
• Delayed success ≠ failure. Some bloom late.
• Pressure breeds anxiety, not excellence. 

7 Game-Changing Tips When Expectations Fall Short:*l

1. Pause Before Reacting – No shouting or threats. Calm opens doors. 
2. Separate Behavior from Identity – Fix the action, not the child. Words become their inner voice. 
3. Listen > Lecture – They’re often silently battling fear, peers, trauma. Understand first. 
4. Adjust Expectations, Keep Standards – Flexibility in goals, not values. ⚖️
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection – Small wins matter! 
6. Guide, Don’t Control – Influence, don’t dictate. Rebellion kills connection. 
7. Model It Yourself – Kids copy WHAT you DO, not say. Show resilience! 

Unmet expectations? Part of parenting. Respond with empathy & wisdom to raise resilient, confident adults—not broken spirits.
Your home: Encouragement zone, not condemnation. Let’s build them up!

Wishing you a joyful and productive week.

Sileola Adebusola Akinbowale 22473, PhD, FCTI, FCA  
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