Polygamy ignorantly painted negative, say scholars

Some Islamic scholars have called for the re-orientation of people about polygamy.

According to them, polygyny is not as bad as being painted in the society.

These were part of the submissions during the Quarterly Dawah Workshop of Lekki Central Mosque (LEMU) at the Vice Admiral Jubrila Ayinla Multi­purpose Hall, Lekki Central Mosque Complex, Lekki, Lagos.

The Chief Imam of Lekki Central Mosque, Dr. Ridwan Jamiu; Director, Daaru Sa’aadah Islamic Centre, Sheikh Taofeek Busari, and Polygyny Coach Hajiya Maryam Nurudeen-Arole spoke on the themed: Polygamy as Ordained by Allah.

Dr Jamiu said polygyny is a reality in Nigerian society, adding some polygamous homes are healthy and peaceful.

“Some people practise polygyny well, while some do not. We have seen some men who are very capable and are good at home management, yet some women who are not married are scared of going into a relationship with them. We need to use this kind of programme to disabuse their minds and to reassure them that not all polygamous unions are bad,” he said.

The cleric, however, cautioned men who practise polygyny to be careful so that they do not incur the wrath of Allah.

According to him, some men enter into polygyny for lust without having an adequate understanding of it.

“When you are unjust to your wife in your polygyny, it could be a serious sin in the sight of Allah. It could lead to very serious consequences in one’s health, wealth, and quality of life, and even in the hereafter. That’s why we need to create enlightenment about this so that we can be well-guided.

Dr. Jamiu urged men to prioritize emotional connection, fostering trust, compassion and understanding with their spouse(s)

Sheikh Busari enjoined women to embrace it for the good of the society.

He said there are polygamous homes that are healthy and peaceful.

“Intimacy in polygamy requires patience, understanding and sacrifice. As we strive for divine pleasure, we must prioritize the hearts and souls of our wives,” he said.

He argued that those who are capable should be allowed to have at most four wives at any given time, under Islamic principles, while women should see the union as a way of obeying the divine law of Allah and shall be rewarded and protected in their relationship.

Sheikh stated that intimacy is an act of worship, a means to seek Allah’s pleasure.

He emphasized self-reflection, recognizing individual limitations and seeking forgiveness.

Hajiya Nurudeen-Arole cautioned against emotional detachment, emphasizing empathy and compassion.

According to her, a husband’s sensitivity to his wives’ needs is crucial.

Neglecting emotional intimacy, she said, can lead to a barren relationship, devoid of spiritual growth.

Drawing from her expertise as a Polygyny Coach, she said: “Intimacy evolves over time; it requires effort, communication and vulnerability.”

She stressed the importance of scheduling quality time, active listening and expressing gratitude.

“In polygamy relationships, intimacy is not a competition, but a harmonious balance of love, respect and understanding,” she said.

Hajiya Nurudeen-Arole encouraged open communication and fostering a safe space for emotional expression.