No one knows, understands or appreciates the trauma Kemi experienced while living in Nigeria, in the time past. Whether personally experienced, heard from, or about others, those times had its own tales, effect on the psyche of people differently; and while it does not necessarily represent current realities in the new Nigeria (for good or worse); it is no less a tale of how an individual choose to process, respond and act out their interpretation(s). Today, despite the posturing, the current generation faces its own challenges (different perhaps) and we see its outcomes in the migration effect; as it is everywhere in varying degrees – developed, developing or underdeveloped.
Our truths cannot be diminished by other people’s experiences – perception or perspective. Even as we lean on to a desirable expectation that we should be open to a positive outlook on the gaps in the society, we should not delude ourselves into undermining the lived experiences of others, and how they choose to react. It is also possible that exaggerating this experience often occur; and will often lead to alienation.
Trauma is personal. It lasts longer and becomes a reality if it is continually validated by more of same, or non-resolution of the underlying event(s).
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It is from this prism that I posit that no one can/should take a high-road on how she, or others should respond. If her explanation or stories do not justify our realities, it may be that we have not yet understood the factors that impact the citizenry. There is a thin-line between agitation for nationhood and bullying people into accepting a truth they cannot relate with. It is not because the other person is being soft, but that reality is now a fuel, driver and perhaps a motivation used. This can be progressive, a radical stance, or a wall.
While it would have been nice to have, like others, talk-up her ancestral heritage as a beacon of our development; the reality is that overlaying this is the character formation or pattern that emerges early on. She takes time to explain her distinction of identity, understanding of the society and the tales (by day or moonlight) that shaped her to become a better version of herself. Others point to her previous or different stance on the subject, but that is a distraction or the failure to understand her evolution. Indeed, the fact that in sharing her pain, she is hushed up convinces her the more that they seek for her to deny her emotional and mental state of being. That hardens position.
While others choose different routes, are restrained and less critical; we can all agree that speaking up about one’s reality comes with consequences, and still does. From the 60’s till date; those who speak up about what they find disturbing are perceived as going out against the system….. in private, professional and public space.
What she has attained is no mean feat, to emerge a party leader is a testament to her power of conviction, and this cannot be diminished with the usual excuse that she is playing to the gallery or doing what is needed to win, as if that is not the same rules of the game of politics everywhere. Beyond conflicted/selective outrage and identity gamesmanship she often dabbles into, she has put in the work to earn her spot in the country she identifies with, one that has given her the opportunity of the life she seeks.
We should respect her choice, and her ability to do what most are unable to do – be honest with how they feel, no matter how some may react. In doing that however, Kemi ought to be circumspect in her conduct and appreciation of the importance of diplomatic norms when the platform she now represents talks about other sovereign nation and its people.
It is ironic that those jumping on the bandwagon to talk about her ‘truths’, our realities and our struggles to survive, exist and overcome; avoid contextualising same. Anyone that ‘Nigeria has happened to’ will tell you how his/her children will react will be uncertain. They are right about one thing though – Kemi is an adult; a survivor and discretion should be an ally.
On the flip side, If you equally imagine how we treat those who identify and show up for the fatherland’s cause, not those engaged in acts that give us all a bad name – the hypocrisy is all too stark. From infrastructure leaders, sports men, creative artists, technical professionals, and global heads of institutions – there are tales that will cause you to wonder. In most cases, these accomplished men and women cannot identify the investments made in them to justify or encourage that sense of obligation that is demanded or imposed on them. They diaspora chooses to identify because of a larger sense of pride they discovered in themselves and the foundations their family system provide(ed). For most, it’s a personal choice, because the benefits are qualitative.
If there is any lesson we should take away – it must be that her story, the hysteria around her and the clamour to claim her is a cautionary tale on the state-citizen nexus; a stark reminder to focus on building on our sovereign competitive advantage, our people.
If we do, we would create a pipeline of people-led achievements that would not only inspire in our growing population of migrants the sense of fellowship, affiliation and pride that the trauma’s of time past will be excused as part of our journey into nationhood. There are examples too many to show that while ‘success has a thousand fathers’, a sustainable pipeline of ‘progressive people spurn global fathers.’
Our creative, tech, medical, military, engineering, financial, academic and professional services sector, to mention a few, in Nigeria is changing and creating more of such…. People of high-value outputs, exposure and competence that will be required to rebuild a Nigeria of our collective aspirations. It is obvious that by sheer default, not design, we are now on that path and conversations like this; as emotive as it gets is a necessary first step to show us all that not everyone ‘rocks’ with how things are back home. Its that difficult talk all parents know about, when it hits you that you have to elevate your game, not the worn-out gambit. Our best response is to engage, empathise and elevate the thoughts of all (for and against) and use that to show how far we have come as a people.
Best wishes to all our people in the Diaspora. We owe you more to build a better nation you can call home. This starts with us making those at home feel wanted and needed through the opportunities we create for them to thrive. We will need the Diaspora to support in this task. We can and will do better.
‘FA
