Our personal health reporter explains why it’s the quality, not quantity, of socializing that matters.
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Aging well as an introvert
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Considering all the research around socializing and longevity, some introverts can be forgiven for feeling worried.
People who have strong relationships generally live longer, and the unicorns known as “super-agers” — older adults who have the memory abilities of someone 20 years younger — tend to be especially outgoing. On the flip side, chronic loneliness raises the risk for cognitive decline and even early death.
But experts say it doesn’t take much socializing to reap the longevity benefits. It’s less about the sheer number of connections you have, and more about what those connections do for you.
Our relationships contribute to health and longevity in critical ways: They provide emotional support, cognitive stimulation, care during times of crisis and motivation to have healthier habits. If your current relationships check those four boxes, you’re probably in pretty good shape. But if you’re missing one or two, it may be time to re-evaluate your social network.
1. Emotional support
Emotional support typically comes from a few close friends or family members. You should feel comfortable confiding in these people and talking through important issues with them.
When people feel lonely, it is often this emotional support that they’re missing, according to Dr. Ashwin Kotwal, an associate professor of medicine specializing in geriatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine. And that feeling can be bad for one’s health.
Experts think that one of the primary reasons loneliness is harmful is that it is inherently a stressful experience. Stress causes inflammation, and if someone is lonely for long stretches of time, it can lead to chronic inflammation. Long term, that increases the risk for heart disease, cancer, dementia and other conditions.
2. Logistical support
The same people who offer emotional support may also be the ones who make your day-to-day life a little easier. Maybe they give you a ride to the airport or drop off a meal when you’re sick. That network becomes even more important when bigger issues arise, like the loss of a job or a serious health diagnosis.
According to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, four to six close relationships is a good number to aim for. That way, you’re not too reliant on any one person.
3. Healthy habits
Our relationships can also motivate us to take better care of our physical health. Research shows that people with supportive social networks are more likely to exercise and eat a healthier diet, as well as go to doctor appointments and take prescribed medications.
For some, a spouse or grown child might play this role; others may have walking buddies who keep them accountable.
The drive to be healthier can also come from within, Kotwal said: “You’re demonstrating the value of those relationships by taking care of yourself.”
4. Mental stimulation
The benefits mentioned above often depend on friends and family. But when it comes to mental stimulation, the experts recommended looking outside your home or tightknit circles. That’s in part because conversations with strangers or loose acquaintances can require more of you cognitively, since you have to be more precise with your language than when talking to those who know you well.
The conversations you have at the grocery store or during your commute can all provide this type of stimulation and be beneficial for health.
Of course, your subjective experience of your social life is important. If you don’t feel lonely, even if you’re alone, you won’t have such a harmful stress response, Kotwal said.
But don’t use this as a reason to stay home.
Instead, Holt-Lunstad advised, “focus on socializing in the context that you feel comfortable, rather than just not socializing at all.”
Credit: www.nytimes.com
