Aliko Dangote, Primate Ayodele: Men of the Moment, By Bamidele Johnson

Cool and lethal. That was my impression of Aliko Dangote (not Alika Adonte. Charles Okogene, take note) after watching him speak about the NMDPRA dude. Those allegations may be untrue or may not be substantiated eventually. Absence of evidence is not necessarily evidence of absence. If you know, you know.

That said, Dangote spoke the way men speak when they own the room. No raised voice. No flailing arms. No theatrical outrage. Just measured sentences delivered with the calm of someone stating inventory, not accusations. While Wike, Bwala, Fayose, Kenneth Okonkwo and others might have shouted and sprayed copious quantities of saliva, Dangote whispered. The effect was far deadlier. It was like watching a bomb detonate in slow motion, silent at first, then boom.

There was something almost cinematic about it. The stillness. The restraint. The confidence that did not need emphasis. He sat there like a mafia consigliori, not the hot-headed capo, but the man who explains consequences politely, because force is already implied. The calm was dominance.

What made it even more unsettling was that he found time to joke. Not nervous laughter. Not deflection. A casual aside, dropped with the nonchalance of a lounge-bar singer.

And Primate Ayodele? Lord have mercy! I do not remember him ever being this rattled. He has never encountered anything resembling the raw wattage of the Power Minister, who is trying to nail him to the cross with that N150 million saxophone-trumpet allegation. This monkey may stay long on the Primate’s back. A primate piggybacking a primate. Dig that?

Predictably, he swung back, dismissing the minister as a “small boy” and asking with theatrical contempt: “The shoe I wear, can N150 million buy it?” One assumes he meant that each pair in his collection costs more than N150 million. Some flex, that. I would very much like to see his feet. They must be extraordinary. Either elephantiasis is at play, swelling them to a 10XXL, or he has hooves. Cow-grade. He may also have descended from T-Rex or diplodocus Who knows?

If, however, each pair of shoes truly costs north of N150 million, the tax authorities should be deeply curious. Shoes at that price point are no longer fashion items. They are financial instruments. Perhaps they are bullet-proof. Perhaps they come with factory-fitted air conditioning. All good, as long as the appropriate taxes are paid and the income streams funding such footwear are clearly explained. Anything short of that is just mouth. And this is mouth. The minister, meanwhile, delivered Band A embarrassment. Voltage enter the guy body. He shock. Up to now, the plainclothes clown has not denied sending those messages or said they were redacted to colour him bad. He is deflecting. He thinks he is Omo Echo N’igboro.