Certain people seem to walk into a room and immediately command attention. Their word choices and tone convey both confidence and competence. They don’t even look like they’re trying too hard.
This can be puzzling — even frustrating — if you’re smart and experienced, but feel as if you don’t get the recognition you deserve.
The good news is that top performers’ success isn’t magic, and their communication style can be learned.
As the author of “Managing Up” and a workplace psychology expert who’s spent the last 15 years coaching leaders at Google, Amazon, and other Fortune 500 companies, I’ve identified specific patterns that give you an air of authority, even before you have the matching job title.
When you speak with this level of clarity and conviction, others naturally start looking to you for leadership and respecting you more. Here are five phrases that people with authority use and why they work so well to gain influence.
1. ‘Our options are A, B, and C. My recommendation is…’
You might speak up and share a rambling narrative that sounds something like this: “Well, first I looked at the budget, and then I realized we also need to consider the timeline, plus there’s the vendor situation to think about, and I’ve been going back and forth on whether we should…”
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Your audience is left to figure out what matters most.
Instead of communicating in long, flowing explanations, use structure to present possible solutions and make a clear recommendation. This can sound like:
- “We have three options: extend the deadline, add resources, or reduce scope. I suggest we add two contractors for six weeks so we can launch on time and minimize costs.”
Even if you don’t know the answer or feel caught off guard, focus on what you do know. This builds trust in your professional judgment. For example:
- “Here’s what I can share at this point: We’re seeing improvement across three sectors…”
- “What I’m noticing is a consistent trend in the data that started in Q2…”
3. ‘Which means…’
Many professionals I work with are the reliable workhorses of their organizations. They go above and beyond in their roles, yet are often overlooked for promotions and leadership opportunities.
The disconnect typically comes down to emphasizing activities instead of outcomes when they talk about their work. If you say, “I updated the customer database,” or, “I trained the new team members,” you’re describing what you did, but not why it matters to the business.
Instead, highlight the end results of your efforts. You might say:
- “The customer database now has refreshed metrics, which means the sales team has accurate data.”
- “Training our new team members was a lot of fun, and it’s exciting to see them already taking on work that’s critical to our department goals.”
4. ‘What we need next is…’
The most effective communicators I’ve coached have mastered the art of making clear calls to action. They understand that they’re writing and presenting to busy decision-makers who need to know exactly what’s expected of them.
Avoid ending your messages with vague phrases like, “Let me know your thoughts,” or, “Feel free to reach out with questions.” Be specific about the action you’d like the person to take. For instance:
- “What we need next is your sign-off on the contract so we can start implementation on Monday.”
- “Our ask is 30 minutes next week to walk through the proposal and get your feedback.”
5. ‘What’s behind your reaction?’
Those with leadership acumen read the room. They don’t ignore or push harder when a C-level executive seems hesitant. They probe deeper to uncover objections and concerns.
When you sense resistance, try asking questions like:
- “What’s your biggest worry?”
- “What other factors should we be considering?”
- “What would need to be true for this to feel like the right direction?”
- “What would make this an easy yes?”
- “I get the sense that this isn’t landing well for you. Am I right?”
The answers often reveal important information about workplace politics, competing priorities, or past experiences that can completely reshape your strategy and ultimately make it — and you — more successful.
