People who speak more than they listen in conversations typically display these 8 traits, says psychology

If you’ve ever had a chat with someone who talks more than they listen, you know it can be a bit of an uphill battle.

Conversations with such individuals can often feel one-sided, leaving you feeling unheard or overlooked.

They may overtake the discussion, rarely pausing to hear your thoughts or opinions.

According to psychology, these “talk more, listen less” individuals often exhibit eight common traits. This isn’t a deliberate choice they make, it’s just the way they are wired.

But remember, everyone is different and these traits might vary from person to person.

Understanding these traits can help manage conversations and interactions with such people more effectively. Let’s delve into what these eight traits are, shall we?

1) Dominating conversations

We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation and the other person seems to be doing all the talking, barely pausing for breath.

This is a classic trait of people who speak more than they listen. They often dominate discussions, leaving little room for others to contribute.

They might interrupt when you’re speaking or simply steamroll over your words with their own thoughts and ideas.

It isn’t necessarily a conscious act of rudeness or disregard. In fact, they may not even realize they’re doing it. But the impact is the same – you’re left feeling unheard and sidelined.

Remember, though, that everyone is unique. Not everyone who talks more than they listen is intentionally dominating the conversation. Some people are just naturally more expressive and talkative.

Understanding this trait can help you navigate your interactions with them more effectively. It’s not about blaming or labelling, but rather about recognizing patterns of behavior to foster better communication.

2) Struggles with self-esteem

At first glance, you might think that people who talk more than they listen are bursting with self-confidence. After all, they’re not afraid to voice their opinions, right?

Interestingly, psychology suggests that the opposite could be true. Some people who speak more than they listen may actually struggle with low self-esteem.

This might seem surprising, but here’s the link: Talking can sometimes be a defense mechanism. It’s a way for individuals to control the narrative about themselves and steer clear of any potential criticism or judgment.

By dominating the conversation, they protect themselves from feeling vulnerable or exposed. This doesn’t apply to everyone who talks more than listens, of course.

But it’s an important aspect to be aware of when trying to understand why some people behave this way in conversations.

3) Need for validation

People who talk more than they listen often have a strong need for validation. Their constant chatting isn’t just about sharing information or ideas. It’s also a way to seek approval and affirmation from others.

When someone talks a lot, they’re putting a lot of themselves out there. Each story, opinion, or idea they share is a part of who they are.

When others listen and respond positively, it confirms their worth and validates their experiences.

According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, validation and recognition from others are key components of our psychological well-being. So this need for validation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But when it becomes the primary drive behind one’s communication style, it can lead to imbalanced conversations where one person does most of the talking and the other does most of the listening.

4) Difficulty in processing emotions

Life can sometimes be a roller coaster of emotions, and we all have different ways of dealing with that ride. For some people who talk more than they listen, speaking can be a way to process their feelings.

They might find that vocalizing their thoughts and emotions helps them make sense of what they’re feeling. It’s as if the act of talking allows them to untangle the jumbled mess of emotions inside them.

It’s important to remember that this isn’t a flaw or a failing. It’s simply their way of navigating through life’s ups and downs. Just as some people find solace in silence, others find comfort in words.

It doesn’t excuse the imbalance in conversation, but it does offer a glimpse into why they might lean towards talking more.

Understanding this can help us communicate more effectively, and perhaps with a little more patience and compassion.

5) Fear of awkward silences

Let’s be honest, awkward silences can be uncomfortable. That moment when the conversation stalls and you’re both just sitting there in silence, scrambling for something to say.

For people who talk more than they listen, this fear of awkward silences can be even more intense. They might feel a responsibility to keep the conversation going, filling every pause or lull with words.

To some extent, we’ve all been there, right? We’ve all felt that pressure to keep the conversation flowing smoothly, especially in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations.

So this trait isn’t so much about being overbearing as it is about trying to avoid discomfort.

Again, it’s not an excuse for hogging the conversation, but it does shed some light on why they might keep talking even when it seems like a good time to listen.

6) Love for storytelling

There’s a friend I know who loves to share stories.

Whether it’s about a childhood escapade, a recent vacation, or something amusing that happened at work, they have a knack for spinning tales that grab your attention.

This friend falls into the category of people who talk more than they listen. Their love for storytelling often takes center stage in conversations, leaving little room for others to share their own anecdotes.

While their stories are entertaining and often full of life, it can sometimes feel like a one-way street where they’re always the one talking and others are left listening.

It’s important to remember that storytelling is a form of self-expression. For people who love to tell stories, sharing them is a way to connect with others.

But balance is key – and learning to listen as much as they speak can enhance these connections.

7) Lack of active listening skills

Let’s cut to the chase: people who talk more than they listen often struggle with active listening. They may hear the words you’re saying, but they’re not really absorbing them or taking them to heart.

Active listening is more than just being silent while the other person speaks.

It involves showing genuine interest, asking relevant questions, and giving appropriate responses. It’s about making the other person feel heard and valued.

Those who often dominate conversations may need to work on these skills. They might not even realize that their constant talking is preventing them from truly understanding others’ perspectives.

It’s a learning curve, but one that can greatly improve their relationships and interactions.

8) The importance of balance

If there’s one thing you should take away from this, it’s the importance of balance in a conversation.

People who speak more than they listen often tip the scales, making the exchange feel more like a monologue than a dialogue.

But real conversation is about give and take. It’s about sharing and listening, expressing and understanding.

Whether you’re the one who tends to talk more or you’re often on the listening end, recognize the value of balance.

Strive for it in your conversations. It might not always be easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort for more meaningful and fulfilling interactions.

Final thoughts

We’ve all been there—in conversation with someone who seems to do more talking than listening.

Just as we’ve explored in this article, there can be many reasons behind this behavior, and it’s seldom as simple as it appears on the surface.

But let’s not forget: every interaction we have is an opportunity—to learn, to understand, and to grow. It’s up to us how we choose to respond and what we take from these experiences.

In the case of those who talk more than they listen, perhaps understanding these traits can help us approach these conversations with more patience, empathy, and grace.

Or, if you find yourself in the ‘talk more’ category, maybe this awareness can be a stepping stone towards better balance in your conversations.

At the end of the day, relationships and interactions are about connection—and that involves both speaking and listening.