Want to set some resolutions for 2025 but constantly thinking about other people? Here’s how to prioritise your own wellbeing and make yourself feel good about your goals.
With the new year in full swing, you may have thought about setting yourself some goals for 2025. Whether it’s creating a new fitness routine or aiming to do something on your bucket list, research shows that over a quarter of us set ourselves new year’s resolutions, with half of 18-24 years saying they plan to set goals.
While setting resolutions or goals should be something that you do for yourself, we all know how often other commitments can get in the way. Before you know it, your ambitions are aligned with your partner’s or you’re tailoring your goals to meet family commitments. “We’re neurologically wired to connect our goals to the people we care about,” explains Dr Kultar Garcha, GP and global medical director at Flow Neuroscience. “When our goals align with helping loved ones, our brain releases more dopamine and oxytocin – our ‘reward’ and ‘bonding’ chemicals – making us more likely to achieve them. These relationship-linked goals often reflect our core values and enhance long-term wellbeing.”
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While it’s obviously important to make sure the people you care about are looked after, it can sometimes stray into affecting your own life and getting in the way of what you need. While linking your goals to your relationships can have clear benefits, it’s also important to look after your own emotional wellbeing and safety while doing so. “It’s critical to recognise that prioritising yourself is not selfish but necessary for your wellbeing,” says chartered psychologist and coach, Dr Claire Vowell. “Personal fulfilment enhances your capacity to support others and it’s also important to start identifying and challenging the beliefs that fuel this behaviour, such as ‘I must put others first to be valued.’”
If you’re looking to set goals that will make you feel good and ensure you’re feeling fulfilled and happy, Stylist asked Dr Garcha and Dr Vowell for their top tips on prioritising yourself this year.
Reconnect with your values
To set your goals, you need to think about what’s important to you. “Reflect on what truly matters to you in your life – your passions, aspirations and non-negotiable values,” says Dr Vowell. “Reconnecting with these values is key. Spend some time journalling about things you’ve enjoyed in the past or revisit old dreams that may have been pushed aside. It’s about rediscovering what’s meaningful for you. Setting goals in alignment with these will help you stay true to yourself and not simply fulfilling others’ expectations.”
Set your boundaries
To ensure that you’re putting your own wellbeing first, Dr Vowell recommends practising compassionate boundary setting. “Setting healthy boundaries protects your time and energy, ensuring you’re not overextended,” she says. “Boundaries aren’t about shutting other people out; they’re about creating space for yourself so you can pursue your own goals with focus.
“A key part of boundary setting is communication. Express your needs with clarity and confidence, while also acknowledging the feelings of those around you. You might try saying, ‘I understand this is important to you, but I need to set aside time for my own priorities right now’. In both personal and professional settings, being firm, yet compassionate, allows you to maintain relationships without compromising your own ambitions.”
Find the balance
Still feeling slightly apprehensive about prioritising yourself? Take small steps to find a way to make it work for you. “I’d say the key is balance, not sacrifice,” explains Dr Garcha. “Integrate self-care into existing commitments – like walking meetings or family swim sessions.
“Start with small changes that don’t disrupt care patterns. If you have kids, use the 15 minutes when your children do homework to do something for yourself. Predictable routines reduce anxiety for both caregivers and those being cared for. Modelling healthy self-care actually teaches those we love to value their own wellbeing, too.”
