Right now, I am very unhappy in my marriage because my wife has pushed me to do what I never planned to do: I just cheated on my wife and I feel very unhappy about it, but she is the cause.
I got married in 2015 after dating my wife for 2 years. There was no sex during our courtship because we are both Christians but we talked about our expectations on sex when we got married. I told her I like oral sex. I like to give it and I like to receive it. She made me believe she was ok with it.
When we got married, things were different, I eat her up and she likes it a lot but she does not like to go down on me. I was like, but I told you so. For me, it helps me get aroused and last longer in bed.
I was really disappointed in the first year of marriage when she refused to do oral on me. She started saying rubbish like its not healthy, its not biblical. As far as am concerned: all those are mere excuses.
Oral sex in marriage is ok because God did not specify how to have sex in marriage. The health part of it, I make sure I am clean and very careful. But she enjoys it when I eat her … I had to stop cause she was being selfish.
It put a strain on our relationship. She knows I am a faithful man … that I would not cheat on her but making love became boring for me. I struggled with getting aroused when its time for lovemaking.
But like I said, I am a Christian man and I have pledged to be faithful … so I carried my cross like that. But you see, the devil knows how to tempt you with your weakness. One day, we were having a discussion among ourselves in the office, somehow, the topic went into marriage and how some couples deny each other.
All of us in the office are married except one lady that is engaged. During our discussion, I did not say I was the one denied sex but I mentioned that some women do not like oral and deny their husbands. This lady was like, ah that she likes it and cannot do without it.
I was like, I wish other women were like her. That was how we ended the conversation. But later, this lady started to send me nudes and dirty texts of what she would do to me if I let her. I was like, but you are engaged and I am married, she did not care.
In the office, she would send me messages to meet her in the toilet, that she would give me a good suck. I ignored her and told her to stop but the more I told her, the more she persisted. Meanwhile, this made me angrier with my wife and we had not made love in weeks.
One morning, I got to the office before anyone else. I had been upset with my wife again… we still had not had sex. The next person to come to the office was that lady that had been flirting with me. Soon as she came in, I just grabbed her and took her to the toilet, unzipped and she went down on me like a hungry lion. I had never been so aroused like this since I got married.
I had no choice after she went down on me cos now I was really turned on. I ended up sleeping with her. That was last Monday at work. I have been avoiding this girl. She has been asking me for another episode. I do not want to continue like this. I already broke my wedding vows. I regret it but my wife made me do this, She pushed me.
Now, I am struggling to stay focused and act like I do not want my colleague again. God, that girl knows what a man wants. Now, I know why some married men have side chicks. I do not say its right but can you blame someone like me after being denied by your wife for almost 5 years of marriage?
I feel like telling my wife what happened between me and my colleague, maybe that will open her eyes and let her see her errors? Some might think I did not have to go to this extreme but I tried to avoid this log enough. I love my wife and my family. My wife knows that I am faithful. That is why she is not even bothered that things are not okay with our Sex life
I do not want to cheat on her, but sex in marriage is very important and this is the problem I am having.
Please advise me.
Temitope Dada, Lagos.
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