Please hide my identity. I am not happy and I feel like I have entered on chance in my life. It started like this: two years ago, I was travelling from Benin to Warri. I met a young girl in the bus. I tried to chat with her but she seemed very shy. But she left me her number.
I called her later and we chatted for some weeks …she wanted to know my intentions towards her. I told her friendship that will lead to marriage. She agreed. We started dating. I found out she was in final year of her HND program.
Things were going fine. I liked her alot. Very calm and very reserved. Just before the end of 2019, around October, she finished her program and told me she was coming back home. I was happy. When she returned, she packed her things and came to my place.
I was surprised. I asked her why she moved into my place cos I never discussed her moving in with me before marriage. She said, her mother said to her that she must not graduate and come back to her house. That it was always her plan to graduate and go to her husband’s house.
Mind you, we have only dated for like 7 months. My plan was that we will get married after her service and she gets a job. Maybe another one or two years. I told her I was not ready for marriage. I want to be a more financially stable and I wanted her to be settled too. I never imagined marrying someone who would be a liability.
This brought issue with us. She said that for me to be talking like this, that means I have no plans to marry her. That I only want to use her and dump her. That even if I am not ready to get married right away…that she can stay with me and we can plan to get married from my house.
I still refused cos that has never been my plan to be living with a woman before marriage. I am respected in church, I am a worker. This girl involved her mother who is a single mother. Her mother who have been so nice to me, came and started threatening me. That I cannot use and dump her daughter. That she swore non of her daughters (she has four daughters) will be a single mother like her.
Truly, I tried to explain to her…I am not using her daughter. We are dating…she agreed to date me…I did not force her. But since they believed I would dump their daughter, I agreed for her to stay with me but that she would go to her mother’s place during the week and come to my place over the weekend.
This she agreed to but coming to stay with me over the weekend, I started seeing this girl’s true color. She became very possessive and controlling. Started to give orders to me, she will talk back at me without respect. She will check my phone and accuse me of flirting with other girls.
I had to tell her that maybe we should break up because I cannot marry a woman that is not going to respect me or try to control my life. I am from a very proud family. We respect women but we do not tolerate disrespect.
With all the trouble she was making,she announced that she was pregnant for me. I told her, well, do what you like. I will take care of my child but I will never marry you…she refused to move out …so I threw her things out and told her it was over. Her mother came with boys to attack me and say I must marry her daughter. I refused.
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