I came to Lagos last week to cool off because I need to make a very important decision that could make or end my marriage of 10 years.
My husband and I have never really lived together for the most part of our marriage. He works on the rig. I met him as a worker on the rig. We were introduced by his sister.
He said he wanted to marry me the first time we met. He wanted to settle down and start a family because his life has always been about his career on the rig.
So even after marriage, he spent more of his time on the rig than with me and the children. He provided for everything we needed. I stayed at home to raise the children.
Only two years ago, I started to sell jewelry and make-up just to keep myself busy. Throughout our marriage, I have visited him on the rig twice.
I cannot say that my husband is a righteous man because I know the kind of job he does. It is not uncommon for oil workers to have women flock around them.
I have treated STD once. I know my husband gave it to me. My only prayer is, let him be careful and not meet a devilish woman that will destroy what we have built.
Last month, I missed him so much, so I decided to go see him. He was happy to see me. I was ready to have a s*xy time with my husband. That was my plan. And we did have a great time together.
The next day, someone knocked on our door and I opened it to a young man who said he was looking for my husband. I asked him to come in. My husband introduced him as a contractor friend.
I offered to go get some fresh fish to make pepper soup while he chatted with his friend. I had gone a few blocks when I realized I had not taken my ATM card.
I hurried back to my husband’s place and because I was in a hurry, I opened the door without knocking. And saw a very disturbing image of my husband and his Contractor friend … the friend had knelt down and was s*cking my husband’s manhood.
I stopped dead in my tracks shouting Jesus …… they both turned and looked at me like they say a demon. The guy left and my husband pulled up his trouser and kept quiet
Yes, he kept quiet while I was busy asking him why? And he never said a word. I would not have been so shocked if I ran into him with another woman … but a man?
All the questions I asked him, he didn’t answer anyone. Are you gay? Or is this an accident? A mistake?…why are you doing this to me, to us, to our family … he was just mute. I almost cried myself to death.
I left the next morning…still no word from my husband..no apology..no explanation. I just feel like I am in a dream. Maybe I didn’t see right…
I waited for his call. He never called me for a whole week after. He called and asked to speak to his children. It was like I never even existed.
I called him two weeks later and demanded that he tell me what is going on or I quit the marriage. He was like, you can quit if you like…I don’t owe you any explanation..but you cannot leave with my kids or any of my property.
Dam him…so he will not explain or apologize and he expects everything to back to normal? I have contemplated on so many things to do but none has made sense to me.
I thought of telling his sister…he didn’t care when I told him I would tell the whole world … I fear if I told anyone, I would be so embarrassed and that would even mean the end of our marriage .
I don’t know what to do … I am in Lagos to see my family. They are all shocked. Some want me to file for divorce, some want me to be patient and pray for my husband to come to his senses, that he is under an evil influence of homos*xuality.
I am at a very difficult point of my life …I do not know what to do. Even if I leave … starting all over after 10 years … it is going to be hard because everything I have, my husband gave me … and he says I will not leave with any of his properties.
What should I do?
Osaretin Eghavrevba, Warri
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